On the street corner, conflicts are resolved with the throwing of knuckles, the quick slashes of a knife, or the rapid fire of a gun. There is always the potential that they can be handled that way in the church, but that is the exception rather than the norm. Physical violence, as an approach to conflict resolution, is often avoided because of the damage that it will cost to one’s public image. Therefore, even though one would prefer to handle an issue through violent means, it rarely happens.
A different method of dealing with conflicts is more dominant. Instead of violently taking down an opponent, it has become the norm to use cleverly selected phrases. There are two results: (1) the first is that the attack has the duo effect of not seeming to be an attack, when in fact it is; (2) the second is that one gets to avoid the public disgrace of reacting violently in a physical manner. Perhaps some further elaboration will make matters a bit clearer.
When offended individuals decides to use phrases as a means of attack, they intend for the message to be communicated. If that wasn’t the case then there is no point in utilizing that method. However, they also don’t want to be seen as being too direct. Being too direct will result in bad press. To correct this problem, they carefully word their phrases in a manner that gives the listeners enough evidence to make assumptions concerning what (and of whom) they are speaking about, and at the same time, leave enough room for doubt. It’s a balancing act.
Using a non-physical assault is more “civilized,” at least that’s what we tend to think. In fact, most would probably lift it to a higher standard, such as: “the method of the intellectuals.” Somehow many assume that we are better Christians, or perhaps, not as bad as others, if we don’t use physical violence. Our sinner’s rating scale reveals that it’s o.k. to attack somebody verbally but not physically.
Where has this gotten the members of the church? Years of endless hatred between families. At times the hatred is so evident that one may be fair in concluding that perhaps we think that it is o.k. to continue existing like this because God has approve our hatred. The most absurd thing is that we think that we are so clever that other members of the church don’t realize what is going on, especially the youth–who, if they haven’t already, will most likely do the same thing.
It has also made us very prideful. The more that we cleverly mask our phrases to launch attacks, the better we get at it, and the better we get at it, the more we think that we are smarter than everybody else. If a person who is trying to live a godly life still has to watch out for pride, imagine one who revels in the fact that he/she has just assaulted an enemy through the use of words. The very fact that that individual finds it o.k. to use the verbal attack makes it difficult for he/she to then turn around and confess the wrongness of the act. How can they be convinced that pride is something to be shunned when the act that is being committed leads to it? They won’t be worried about pride. Their satisfaction concerning their verbal achievement will be more important to them than pride.
Talking bad about people has been preached on, however, I’ve yet to hear a sermon that goes into detail concerning the various tactics that are used to launch verbal assaults. I truly believe that if the topic is brought to the forefront, some will continue it (as is the norm whenever admonitions are given) and others will cease to do so either because their secret is out, or they never sat down and reflected on the implications of their actions. The problem is that most sermons only go surface deep when commenting upon real life issues. The nail is rarely hit on the head.
Maybe I should not have said anything about this. It seems that there is a large fraction of the church that is fine with the way things are and would like to continue in that direction. However, for the few who dare to think that there is a greater ideal for the church, then this is another deficiency that needs to be reflected on, and with the help of the divine, overcome. Being content with disease will only result in the eradication of the one infected.